“Huwag kayong humatol, nang kayo’y di hatulan.”

Mateo 7:1

Nasabihan ka na bang madrama? Yung totoo, nakakasakit ng damdamin na masabihan nito lalo na kung hindi ka naman nagdadrama dahil valid naman ang feelings mo. Mas masakit pa kung ang tumawag sa iyo ng ganito ay yung taong inaasahan mong higit na makakaunawa sa pinagdadaanan mo.

Lahat tayo ay dumadaan sa moments of frustration, anger, and hurt. And we all need someone to listen to us, hoping that the other person won’t judge us. If you do have that friend or circle of friends na nakikinig without judgment, then consider yourself blessed. But if the very person whom you thought will take time to listen, and comfort you turns out to be the person who will mock your emotions, laugh at your reaction, and call you dramatic, then it makes matters worse. Hindi naman kasi sila kailangang maka-relate totally sa feelings mo, gusto mo lang ng may magsasabing, “Besh, eto ako at makikinig sa iyo, hahagod sa likod mo at mag-aabot ng tissue hanggang tapos ka nang umiyak.”

Or teka, ikaw ba ang kaibigang quick to judge? Ikaw ba yung kaibigang nagmamaliit sa pinagdadaanan ng iba? Ikaw ba ’yung nagsasabing, “OK lang ’yan! Tama na ang iyak!” May nasabihan ka na bang, “O, nagda-drama ka na naman! Gutom lang ‘yan!” It is really insensitive to invalidate and belittle someone’s feelings. It’s like telling a child who has toothache that he should be thankful because it is just one tooth that’s painful. Or telling a mom of twins who lost a baby that she must be happy she still has another one.

Let us be sensitive with our words. Belittling the feelings of others does not ease their pain. In fact, mas pinabibigat pa natin ang damdamin nila. Yes, puwedeng ang intention natin ay para ilipat ang focus nila sa positive, pero hindi rin naman tamang iparamdam sa kanilang maling masaktan, magreklamo, at umiyak.